Description

Hii ## Personality Introduction Josh Saunders, better known as “KingCobraJFS” and also sometimes simply called “Cobes”, is a self proclaimed “sexy goth bad boy” of many talents. YouTuber, streamer, guitarist, singer-songwriter, wand maker, dark wizard and harbinger of the cobrapocalypse. Once confined to obscurity, he started a slow ascent to “mild” internet fame as an amateur musician and YouTuber, and a descent into madness and alcoholism. What caused him to be this way? What’s up with him? Well, this my dudes is what’s up. Early Life Much of Josh’s life is murky, but what is known is that he was born on March 26, 1991 to Clint and Laura Saunders in Casper, Wyoming. Shortly after birth, Clint and Laura went through a rough divorce and a custody battle. Josh was born with respiratory distress syndrome (NRDS), underdeveloped lungs, and was placed in an incubator. Clint always maintained that Laura was psychotic and abusive, with some trolls believing that she may have had a drug problem or drank liquor while Josh was still in the womb. In 1992/1993 Josh relocated to Miles City, Montana with his parents where both shared custody. Details of his life in Montana are murky and largely unknown, aside from Clint owning and running gymnastics clubs in both Miles City and Glendive, Montana. Other places Josh lived were Valley City, North Dakota; and South Lake Tahoe, California. Clint remarried in 1996 and was awarded sole custody of Josh. Eventually Josh moved back to Casper, Wyoming and graduated from Natrona County High School. Among his siblings are two sisters, who according to Clint are “straight ‘A’ students ”, members of honors societies, active in their communities in organizing volunteer work and raising awareness for the Humane Society, and according to HomeDad Clint have no interest in tobacco, drugs, or alcohol. In spite of all this, Clint is still quite proud of Josh, but knew from the time Josh was born that there was something wrong with him. In a screencap from a post by @Buffalo Chicken Sandwich , Clint goes into detail about Josh’s mental state in his younger days: Clint goes on to describe Josh as having been “tormented, teased, and harassed every second of every day of [Josh’s] life”. This is a stark contrast to Josh’s behavior in high school being described as creepy, and even admitting on stream on 3/7/2021 that he had sexually assaulted girls at school, and excusing it with, “they were totally into me”. (They were not.) He was on his school’s wrestling team long enough to receive a letterman jacket before declaring the sport was “gay”. After discovering the band Cradle of Filth he began to identify as a goth. The very day he turned 18, Josh took up smoking despite his NRDS, and at 21, Josh took up drinking. Both of these vices would become staples of his character for years to come. After high school Josh had a brief stint in the local Job Corps in early/mid 2012 before it ended with him being kicked out after being caught smoking pot. During this time he also met his now ex-girlfriend Stephanie. Gothic King Cobra Documentary by trappped There’s debate as to when Josh entered the public eye of the internet. Though he had something of a following pre-2014 with drama involving Stephanie and other shenanigans, it wasn’t until the documentary Gothic King Cobra was uploaded to YouTube on 2/23/2014 that interest in Josh began to grow. The video documents a day in Josh’s life, and also some details of Josh’s past, such as his time on the wrestling team and also the fact he had a fat bush of pubes back in high school. He also reveals he “keeps his shit trimmed down there”. In the documentary we’re also introduced to a cavalcade of citizens in Casper, Wyoming as well who never really make an appearance in Josh’s life later but do seem to be acquainted with him. Of note is Jared Brown, a homeless former Marine who possibly ingrained within Cobra’s psyche the catchphrase, “That’s what’s up” and even doles out some pretty good advice to Cobra. "Nut up, or get fucked up. That's what's up today." The documentary has become a harrowing window into Cobra’s past self, showcasing a young man who had dreams and aspirations, even if a little awkward. Now what remains is a broken man devoid of any ambition who seeks comfort in alcohol, tobacco, fast food, and marijuana. In fact, take just about any post breakup video and you will see a shocking contrast to Josh’s life then and now. See the "Videos" section below for the full documentary. The Sagas Like any lolcow, Josh has a multitude of past sagas, many of which can be found HERE or at least everything from 2011 until October 2020. Further information can be found on the Cobrapedia. The most recent and ongoing saga is the Eviction Saga, which started in 2014, but reached a head in 2020 when Josh was told he caused $6,000 worth of damage and caused the apartment above him to be un-rentable due to his constant indoor smoking and spray painting wands for his wand business. Him also inviting various bums and addicts to stay with him as well as getting SWATTED may have contributed to this as well. After being evicted Josh was able to move into a new apartment and so far hasn’t learned from his past mistakes if the appearance of his apartment is anything to go by. Josh’s Physical Health Josh’s physical health has been up for debate. A comparison of his past and present appearances shows that it’s started to go downhill over the years. His hair has started to thin greatly and his skin has grown noticeably paler. Cobra at the time of the 2014 documentary vs. Cobra in September 2021 (Yes, it's from THAT stream) Despite all of the fast food, booze, and cigarettes, he surprisingly has NOT gained too much noticeable weight, somehow remaining relatively skinnyfat. However, we don’t know much about Josh’s internal health. He has been shown to fall asleep on stream, let out hacking coughs, and admits to needing alcohol by his bedside for when he wakes up. Since records of Josh’s doctor visits are nonexistent and he hasn’t said much about his health, this remains a point of speculation among many trolls. Josh’s Psychology Much like his physical health, Josh’s mental health has taken a nose dive for the worse. While he does have Asperger's, there is obviously something else going on with him. He harbors delusions of grandeur and an overinflated ego. While he may have had a chance in the past to truly make something of himself, his recent antics have shown that he believes himself to be a handsome goth bad boy with magical abilities and sick guitar skills without a need to improve upon his craft. Never mind the fact that he plays guitar like absolute shit. He’d also rather throw away shit he doesn’t understand rather than try to master it or understand how it works. How Josh sees himself. Though he hasn’t officially been diagnosed with the following disorders, many trolls and observers of the Cobraverse have theorized that Josh exhibits symptoms of disorders such as severely stunted emotional and social development (Attributed to his Asperger's, but even then seems to be FAR worse than the average aspie), addictive personality disorder, poor impulse control, low IQ, and oppositional defiant disorder. Fellow Kiwi @Lesbian Sleepover provided a very interesting step by step on the way Josh handles danger and conflict in his life, as shown below. Throughout all of this, Josh at no point accepts blame for his actions. Not once has he admitted to being fully in the wrong. It has always been that he was only partly wrong, and when he does accept blame he only gives an insincere apology and moves on to the next thing. Josh on Women and Sex: Josh and Stephanie in happier times Surprisingly, Josh has gotten laid in the past and has had at least two relationships in his life, though one only lasted roughly a day. But in recent days he has started to flip flop on women, walking a fine line between Incel to “nice guy”, though he seems to tend more toward nice guy tendencies. Josh, believing he’s the sexy goth bad boy he claims to be, thinks women are waiting to crawl all over him and gouge out the eyes of every other hussy bitch that tries to lay their hands upon his mighty mega meat cock before they can. But since he never seems to leave the CobraZone and venture out into the streets of Casper, we won’t know the extent of his romantic escapades, with most information coming directly from Josh himself or trolls close to him. In the past Josh was in a relationship with a woman named Stephanie whom he met at Job Corps. For a time, things were good. Stephanie was close to moving into Josh’s apartment, until Josh and his friend Chris got drunk at a gas station and somehow ended up tag-teaming a pregnant woman at the woman’s suggestion. Stephanie then cheated on Josh through the act of anal sex with a mutual friend (I’m looking at you, Homeboy Scotty). Josh’s response? He made a half-joke threat to rape Stephanie. Stephanie then moved her shit out of the apartment while Josh was at work. On the 4th of July, they broke up. In 2015 Josh got a new girlfriend named Ami, and after only one day, they broke up. A short time later Ami wound up in jail and Josh expressed great pleasure at this revelation. Eventually Josh began to grow frustrated at his inability to find a woman, until the day came when a fan sent him a $1000 sex doll. Josh, "Queen Cobra", and Shon According to Josh, it’s not the exactly sex doll he wanted, but he took it all in stride. Hey, a pussy is a pussy, am I right? Not even 24 hours later, Josh posted on Facebook that a thief broke into his apartment and stole his sex doll. And only his sex doll. Not his guitar, what little valuables he has, or even his TV. But...just his sex doll. Josh later claimed that Casper police found his sex doll in the back of a meth monkey’s car who was allegedly trying to get scrap metal out of it, thus destroying it in the process. Josh admitted later that he destroyed the sex doll because he got angry after ripping its pussy during a ferocious fuck session. He blamed the doll’s poor quality and poor shipping. Josh has since been unsuccessful with women, often wanting that black haired tatted up big tittied goth girl with green eyes that so many lust after. Rather than improving himself or settling for less attractive women, even just to get some experience talking to girls, Josh goes for women completely out of his league and wonder why they won't go out with him. The kind of woman Josh wants but cannot have Josh and Music Josh has boasted about being a sick guitarist and even published some of his own music, however most of the albums were taken down due to copyright. Rather than believing his potential is just untapped, Josh is seemingly self taught and believes he does not need improvement. According to reality, however… Josh and Religion What’s an edgy goth bad boy without a hatred of religion? Josh has declared his hatred of organized religion time and time again, even though he approves of the Church of Satan (An organized religion), created his own organized religious structure called Cobratin, openly admitted to and enjoyed the idea of being a cult leader, and advocated for the innocence of Charles Manson, a cult leader. However, Josh does believe in the idea of magic, believing he can control the weather and manipulate traffic lights. Josh and Employment Josh has had a rather spotty job record. His first job was at a local Wendy’s where he was a rather lackluster employee, where his antics included unclogging a toilet with nothing but a cup and his bare hands, and mixing up the sweet and unsweet teas multiple times. Josh was cut down to a single 2-4 hour shift a week. His employment lasted from Fall of 2012 to August 25th, 2016 when a troll named “Castellus Zemi” also known as “The Fat Fuck from Kentucky” by the Cobra community, called Wendy’s corporate office and filed complaints about Josh’s videos. During his hiatus between jobs he started doing odd jobs around down at the discretion of his “friend” Scrapper Steve. Given Steve’s appearance, one can only shudder at the thought of what these odd jobs entailed. "Buffalo Bill" Scrapper Steve Finally on May 7th, 2017, a whole ass 8 months from being fired from Wendy’s, Josh FINALLY found a job as a humble dishwasher at The Office Bar and Grill. But in September 2018, Josh put in his 2-week notice, citing the lack of hours and that he felt he was making more money from his wand business and doing a lot better. Of course, fans and trolls speculate that one of the reasons Josh quit was due to his disputes with the head chef. Josh didn’t tell his father that he had quit his job; he only found out MONTHS later when he stopped by to visit Josh. Now, Josh is seemingly unemployed with his only source of income being social security allowance and his wand business, which he crafts homemade magic wands to sell on Etsy. However, his Etsy account was taken down in September 2021 after a dispute with a customer, in which Josh was unable to provide a refund of $270. Without Etsy, the boglim grifter is without a stable source of income as of this writing. Josh and Finances As evidenced by being unable to provide the $270 Etsy refund mentioned above, Josh is absolutely terrible when it comes to finances. Every time he comes into the possession of Clintbux from dad or donations from fans, it doesn’t last long, with almost all of it literally going down the shitter since he spends it on fast food. Back when he was with Stephanie he would spend his $400 Wendy’s paychecks on Golden Corral. Now he spends what little money his has on booze, tobacco, weed (Possibly spice as well), and fast food for his infamous food reviews and mashups. How bad exactly is Josh with money? He spent $1,000 in 5 days. And no, it wasn’t on anything meaningful. How Josh spends so much money on fast food can be chalked up to the ridiculous orders he makes. Little Caesar’s is a relatively cheap pizza joint with offers like $10 for a large pizza with three toppings or $5 for a simply pepperoni pizza. But Josh somehow manages to spend $70 on a custom made pizza. It remains a mystery how he’s able to pull this off, but it can be inferred that he A) Orders multiple items alongside his custom made monstrosity that’s already putting pressure on kitchen staff. B) Uses some kind of app like DoorDash to have it delivered, which is known for having ridiculous delivery fees. And C) Doesn’t realize how the coupons work. With the wand business being placed on hold, Josh will need to rely on more ebegging and Clintbux if he is to survive the winter. He could also just buy groceries and cook for himself, but… Josh and Cooking: Josh has cooked for himself in the past and posted videos of the process, but seems to have relied more on fast food reviews for his sustenance as of late. Most of his meals don’t look very presentable and are often either burnt or of questionable edibility. Below are some of his (in)famous cooking videos, including one where he starts a fucking grease fire: he makes gross and crazy food combinations. Favorite phrases The following are words and phrases that Josh has become very fond of saying in his videos, the most famous ones being "That's what's up" and "That's most definitely what's up". * What's good, youtube * Well anyways, youtube, this is KingCobraJFS with another video, I'll catch you cool cobras (later/on the flipside). * Trust and believe * I guaran-fucking-tee you * My trusty [random object] * That's what's up * That's most definitely what's up * Thing of it is, youtube * Yeah buddy * "Scuse me" (after sneezing, coughing or deliberately farting and belching) * My asperger's is talking shit again (after passing gas) * You have no idea / You don't even know * It is what it is * Here's the thing, slick * No skin off my shoes * Fuck your sky god * Ooo-wee Cobra Relics (Work in Progress as of 10/3/2021) The Boglim Hat Josh is almost always seen wearing his seemingly favorite hat, a black cowboy hat that has seen a lot of wear and tear throughout the years, and despite now looking like something that not even a hedge wizard would wear, Josh continues to rock it in public. Some speculate that he sleeps in it, but after his recent tantrum where he broke his cigarette, its survival has been called into question. More info: is too rough on accident, uses too much tongue when kissing